How Seeing the World Through the Lens of Personality Changes Everything
By: Anne Bogel
Published: September 19, 2017
Publisher: Baker Books
Have you ever thought about how your personality affects the way you interact with your spouse, children, family, co-workers, or friends? Have you considered that maybe the difficulty you are having with someone may be because your personalities are struggling with each other? By understanding how your brain works and why someone is reacting in a specific way to something you have said or done, could change your view of that whole situation.
Anne Bogel of the popular Modern Mrs. Darcy blog has been fascinated with personality traits for several years. If you were one of those teens that took every quiz in a magazine asking why kind of friend you are or who should you date next, then I bet you are also taking the wide variety of quizzes on social media. Quizzes range from which Harry Potter character you are to which state should you really be living in, to what book genre you should be reading based on your personality. Everyone seems to be taking them and sharing the answers with their friends.
But, Bogel takes this one step further by encouraging us to really find out what makes us the person we are. But, as Bogel points out, taking every personality test out there doesn't matter if you aren't honest with yourself about your own personality and that of those you spend time with. Yes, her book is based on research but she shares it with readers in a conversational manner. She doesn't overwhelm the reader with statistics but instead explains how that research on personality trickles down to the everyday person. The key is no personality is better or worse than the other, it just means we might be better suited towards another for marriage, or towards a certain type of career.
Reading and re-reading this book over the last couple months has encouraged me to look into my own personality traits. By taking various online assessments, I am fairly confident that I am an ESFJ of the Myers-Brigg personality types. Then doing research related to that type of personality has offered numerous "Aha" moments in my own life and relationships with others. It's been life-changing as I no longer feel like I have to make excuses for my own feelings. It has also opened my eyes in regards to our children. Taking various online assessments can help point them in the right direction for a major in college or a career option. Seeing that our daughter is quite possibly an introvert, opposite to my extroverted behavior, has allowed me to loosen up a bit regarding her social interactions.
As someone who works in the school system, the chapter that focused on Highly Sensitive People (HSP), especially children, offered me a whole new viewpoint on how to best educate and communicate with students that fit that category. Feeling things strongly, noise, and overstimulation are all things that may cause of HSP to shut down. So, when a student asks if they can work without a partner or to work in the hall, may be a sign that their surroundings are causing their brain to shut down. This may not be the case in every situation, but knowing your students, your children, your co-workers and the environment that will make them successful can make your relationship with them so much more cooperative.
Ultimately, READING PEOPLE offers the reader a chance to understand the people that are important in your life. Recognizing and accepting the way they interact with the world may be different from you and that is A-Ok.
|Anne Bogel - source|
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