Well, after prayer and thought on this cold and dreary Monday, I have decided to drop out of the Reading the Bible in 90 Days Challenge. I am still in Jeremiah, Day 57 when I should be on Day 78. I am full-blown into my Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) now and this is a very intense study. It has been difficult for me to do both reading for the 90 days and do my daily study for BSF. The kids schedules are crazy, my schedule is crazy. I'm subbing a lot. My volunteering has kicked in to full gear. I just can't keep it all going. Something has to go. Don't you ever feel that way? I don't like feeling behind or rushed. Lately, I felt like my readings were rushed and I couldn't take the time to absorb like I did at the beginning of the Bible. I don't like doing something "half-as*ed" for lack of a better word. If I am going to commit to something I want to do it and do it right. I didn't want to complete it just to say I did it. I didn't want to complete it just to be able to put the "badge" on my blog or get the T-Shirt. I didn't want to let everything else in our lives fall apart because I HAD to complete this challenge. I wanted to complete this challenge to be drawn closer to HIM. And I have been, even without doing it in the challenge time frame. So, I had to let this committment drop. I wasn't able to give it the time and attention it needed and deserved. Even though I am saddened and disappointed with myself, this is what I must do. My Bible is still out and open. I am still reading it and will continue to blog my thoughts, but in my time, in God's time, and not based on what day it is. I have loved the readings and with the knowledge I have....my BSF Bible study has been easier because of the rich history I read in the Old Testament.
I am so grateful for Susan at The Confident Mom for telling me about this opportunity. I am so thankful for Mom's Toolbox and all the work, planning, and organization she has done for this challenge. If it wasn't for them, I NEVER would have EVER thought about reading the ENTIRE BIBLE from cover to cover. Thanks also to my mentor Karen at Faith Family Fibro for her support and prayers. I "met" some amazing women in this journey and hope to stay in contact with them.
So, I will continue to read the Bible, blog my thoughts, and I WILL FINISH THE BIBLE. It is a goal. I don't know when, maybe by the end of the year, maybe this winter, maybe next summer. But, I will finish! You will hear about it right here! So, stay tuned.
Do you ever feel like a failure after committing to something and then dropping out? Today, I am feeling less pressure on my shoulders, but a twinge of guilt for not completing. How do you handle that guilt?